Passed on from Rivka, a co-worker at Arutz 7:
Subject: FW: How to start each day with a smile.......
1. Open a new file or folder in your computer.
2. Name it "Ehud Olmert"
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your computer will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of "Ehud Olmert?"
6. Firmly click "YES" !
7. Feel Better? So have an extra special day!
Next week, we'll do Shimon Peres. After that , Amir Peretz. Boundless joy.
I did a radio show this week in which I read a news report that Israel was going to be naming a forest in the north of the country (which was destryed by fires from Hezbollah missiles) after Coretta Scott King. I remarked that a more appropo name for this forest in Israel would be for somone who was actually one of us, a Jew and an Israeli. I suggested that we maybe name it Roi Klein
Z"L, for one of our heros of the Second Lebanon War, who in the midst of battle, saved his troops by throwing himself on a grenade in order to absorb the explosion and save his buddies. G-d bless him and may his family be comforted and healed as much as possible.
You may not understand the humor of some of the names he offers below if you are not Israeli.
Dan L. from Herzeliyah wrote:
I would like to suggest other names for the forest instead of 'Coretta Scott King'.
The Ehud "Couldn't see the Forest for the Trees" Olmert Forest
The Amir "Couldn't see the Forest through his binoculars" Peretz Forest.
The Smokey Kabir forest.
The "Hugh" forest. (because Hugh, only Hugh can stop the Florist fires).
kol tuv, Dan
Seeking a Husband
Also from Dan L., From Herzeliyah:
Career Day - Tongue in Cheek
The following groups made presentations at career day at the school:
An exciting career awaits you as a Relocation and Landscaping specialist. You will relocate people from their current abode, putting them on buses, and return the land to it's original state in accord with the Kyoto protocol by bulldozing their houses.
Yasamnikim expelling Jews from Land of Israel
Photo by Miriam Tzachi
The Foreign Ministry:
Be a peace facilitator. You will have the exciting opportunity to meet disgruntled militants and transfer territory to them so they can create a state where they can be themselves and behead infidels at will.
Arafat: We 'Balestinians' (they have trouble pronouncing the letter 'p') want 'beace' with Israel.
BOOM! ****(((( ))))*****
Photo found on the internet